Since being a young girl, I alway envisioned my life being fast paced and exciting at every corner and for the most part, it has been. My crazy party phase from 18-23 was a blur (but some insane memories and I really did find myself), a lot of flights no feeling type trips (even though I met amazing people) and my general personaltiy of not wanting to sit still. Even when I tried to calm down a little, it has always been awful jobs meaning I quickly moved onto the next, moving to a new city cause i felt like it, boy drama that you could only image reading about in a fictional book ect.
There have been many points I felt overwhelmed and lost. I don’t see myself chasing pointless things but sometimes the direction I was going in was questionable. On top of that, I don’t really know how to take a brake and relax. Like, what even is relaxing. Is it drinking? I mean I did that and ended up out. Is it having a lie in? Well that just messes up my entire day and makes me unproductive. Is it going on holiday? Being abroad has never been relaxing for me.
Slowing down mean different things for different people. After the chill weekend I have had, I have realised, slowing down means focusing on me and my needs first. Not being pulled in a 100 different directions and not feeling like I have to be outside because everyone else is outside. It was super sunny here yesterday and I usually feel presure to be outside or make plans and I chose not to. Slowing down for me is being intentional with my goals and consistent enough to say no to everything else. In a wierd way, this is when I feel my most relaxed and most calm.
There is nothing more I want than to slow down and be more present and learning to say no to a lot of things has so far been a part of that. Having more time for myself has been a blessing and I truely can wait to see how my life flourishes from slowing down.
Love Nish x
Nishi Selva 