Something that has constantly been on my mind recently is how much I have changed in recent years. It sounds silly cause I have been doing this whole self-development thing since I was around 14 and have been fully dedicated to it for the past few years. It would be worrying if I didn’t change. For some reason, I always find it so hard to let go of the ‘old me’. I have so much love for her cause she went through things and I had to be ‘her’ during that moment in time and space.
I probably would never understand this sadness but it’s also a very joyful feeling too.
I have a lot more peace in my life. That is something I achieved by making some very hard decisions in my life and cutting off people I did care about but were not serving my mental wellbeing at all.
Something I miss about myself is how deeply I loved certain things and people. This has changed because of mainly being better at putting up boundaries. Sometimes I still wish I didn’t have to put those boundaries up in the first place because I want to live freely. I don’t want to have to protect myself to the point I don’t feel I can love people the way I was meant to love people.
I hope this makes sense to someone out there but these are just my thoughts. I’m sure I won’t always feel like this but I also understand this is just how it is supposed to be.
Love Nish x
Nishi Selva 