Nishi Selva

If someone had to describe me, one of the first things they would say about me is ‘She seems so confident’. From the way I carry myself to the way I take care of myself, it is very obvious I am someone who portrays a lot of self-love and esteem in everything I do. 

That doesn’t mean I don’t have days I don’t feel on top of the world, exuding confidence. It doesn’t mean there aren’t days I feel so anxious on the inside when on the outside I seem the same as yesterday. 
I have always been an anxious girly, believe it or not. It’s very easy to see how much of my life I have shared so openly on this blog, my YouTube and socials, that it almost doesn’t make sense. To be quite frank, there have been points in my life where I have felt such bad anxiety, that I haven’t been able to leave my room and face the day. 

I suppose anxiety is different for everyone. I doubt everyone has the same symptoms. To be honest, looking back, at different points in my life anxiety manifested in different ways. When I was in a toxic relationship, I had physical symptoms which I didn’t realise were anxiety till we broke up. When I was younger, dealing with bullying and school made me so anxious that I just stopped going to school. I would say though Uni, although I have no regrets, I would use alcohol and going out to deal with my anxiety cause sitting in my room was just too much. 

At this point in my life, I definitely have learnt a lot of ways to deal with my anxiety. However, on days like today, there was not much I could do. These days are very few and far between but when they do come, I tend to just doubt everything. 

It doesn’t make sense cause right now, I don’t have much to be anxious about. This month was the most money I have ever made, I gave a great job and I am working on multiple projects that make me happy. I see my friends and family often, I take good care of myself by feeding my body good food and going to the gym and I am overall, happy with life. 

Even so, I woke up with crippling anxiety today to the point, I really couldn’t get much done today and the only thing I have achieved is doing a food shop and managing to write this blog post (writing truly is my therapy!). 

I think it is important to be patient with ourselves and I have learnt the best way for me to deal with anxiety at this point in my life is to sit with it and let it pass but also gently nudge myself to keep going in small ways so that I can get out of my mini rut as soon as I can. 

Although this can be hard sometimes, I don’t know how else I would deal with it, and for now, it seems to be working. I would love to share some more tips on how I calm my anxiety however I hope this post has helped you realise you are not alone and however anxious you may be feeling, it too will pass. If you are one of my more usual readers, I hope you realise, even though I have written multiple posts on confidence, it is normal to have off days and I just wanted to share that on here too!

I would love to hear your ways of dealing with anxiety in the comments and hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. 

Love Nishi x