Nishi Selva

I can already tell you this is not going to be the most glamorous post but it is an important one.
As someone who has always had reasonably good health all of her adult life, I can say when the time comes to face your fears, it is a scary one. I won’t lie to you, I have always felt invincible. I never think anything is going to happen to me and even though I have always had a lot of anxiety it could, I have never had the proof.

At some point in life, everyone is going to have some sort of health issue. And that’s just facts. In the last year or two, I have had 2 to 3 non-serious health scares, however, all things that could potentially affect me for the rest of my life.

It has been a journey, to say the least. I have felt every emotion under the sun from anger, to sadness, to guilt, to acceptance, back to anger, and then to new levels of sadness. The anxiety that comes from uncertainty has to be the worst. One could argue, that anxiety is literally the feeling we get from uncertainty.

Coming to terms with this is something that is likely going to happen more and more as I grow up is a whole other kettle of fish that I am not prepared for either. I have on top of that, avoided any convo regarding all the issues I have had with everyone or I have taken the completely other approach and simply not spoken about it at all.

Acceptance is the only way forward and I know that. It isn’t going to happen overnight and it isn’t going to be easy. Coming to terms with this as a part of life is just something I am simply going to have to get over. There really isn’t any other way around it and it’s the only way forward.

I am on a journey of trying to accept uncertainty in ever area of my life starting with my health. As much as I take good care of myself, there is still no full control over what happens in my body and I have to come to terms with that too.

It going to take time but typing it all out definitely helps knowing someone else reading this could relate and it could make them feel less alone, make me feel like I am trying to make the best I can from a shitty situation.

So I am wishing all of you good health, and to appreciate it while you can! And if you are going through something, where your health isn’t perfect, I hope you find acceptance too.

Love Nish x